Ever wish you could just quit a whole day? It's 8:45am and I am already done. This never happens to me. I am an optimist. I always try my best to look on the bright side. I get over things pretty easy. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. But I say screw it to all those things today. Today I would rather be cynical and twisty and black coffee with not a grain of sugar to sweeten things. I'd rather throw my laptop out the window than figure out why Pinterest isn't working for me and dump the entire bowl of apples waiting for me on the kitchen counter rather than sweeten them up to enjoy later. And the fancy dinner ideas I was planning on trying today? The nice little post about how great the mixed media class went and how I got a new haircut that I was going to write?
Not a chance in hell...
It does seem to always go this way, doesn't it? Some days just need to be fast-forwarded to get back on track and start fresh with a new one tomorrow? That disappointments always happen in lumps? Could it just be ONE of the three bad things that have happened already? My hormones are NOT. EQUIPPED. Today they say, "Nope. Today we are solely focused on making your body and brain malfunction and have absolutely no time to help you think rationally."
Sad but true.
And I find that it is not the actual thing that has happened, but the intention and attitude behind it, that has me really upset. And that's usually what gets me down. It's not that Eric has piled a bunch of dishes in the sink, but that he just assumes that more than anything, I love scrubbing dishes and have nothing better to do with my time but to follow behind him, picking up his trail of dishes, laundry and while I'm at it, could you make me a sammich, honey? I wish there was an accurate emoticon for the sound and expression that emits from me at this thought...
So it is with that thought in mind that I say I am so sad, disappointed, disenchanted, angry, frustrated, disheartened, and let down (yes, I used a thesaurus) today. I can usually see the writing on the wall, am the first to say that you have to do what's best for you, and am completely capable of admitting if there is someone more qualified than myself to get a job done. I am a people-pleaser, love to say yes, and work my dimpled ass off to get the job done to the best of my ability, and am proud to say that I always go above and beyond for the people I care about.
I have been involved in the scrapbooking industry since 2009 and have accepted any job or challenge put in front of me to make a way for me to work in this field, rather than just getting stuck "working" for free for a stack of product I don't really care about. And the free product is appealing, don't get me wrong, but it's nothing to me compared to the sense of accomplishment of making something I truly love and am proud of, for a company that I truly love and am proud to be associated with. Period. So when I was approached by a manufacturer that I have loved since the begining, before anyone really knew anything about them, to be a new team member to help move the company forward, I was elated. I was shocked that they would come to me, because there are a hundred other people who are more capable in a hundred different ways. But I took this offer at face value, trusted that what they said was the truth, and put forth a proposal that I was proud of, capable of taking on, and knew that I would be able to come through to help put this company on the map. And that's a tricky thing, to submit a proposal, because you're essentially giving away your ideas to someone who could then just take them and go with someone else. But it's part of getting where you want to be, and when you feel that you can trust the other party, you just know that it's the right thing to do.
So imagine my surprise to find out on my favorite social media platform that the job has been given to someone else. Someone who is a perfect fit, totally capable of filling the role, and also just happens to be someone I like and respect. Can I blame them for choosing her? No way - she's going to do a great job, no doubt about it. But man, does it pinch to find out that way. To not even be given the courtesy of an email or phone call. That is the sad, disappointed, disenchanted, angry, frustrated, disheartened, and let down part about it all.
So, because I am not generally one to dwell, I got up to make apple sauce out of the almost-bad apples on my counter. It's what I do. Do I eat my feelings you ask? YOU BETCHA. Because it's better than crawling under the covers and letting the day beat you. Instead, the plan is to have a yummy, chai-infused apple sauce with a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream for lunch. Problem solved. Funk demolished. Movin' on to better things to come.
So I made a steaming hot cup of Oregon Chai (thank you, Dawn!) in my new-vintage turquoise coffee mug, grabbed my apple corer/peeler and got to work. And I started to feel better the second I had some apples piled in my adorable pink pyrex mixing bowl (that I actually spent waaaay more money than I am proud to say on) knowing that I was being productive when some might pull the drapes and watch mindless daytime tv to numb the pain. Judge Judy does nothin' for me...
And then this happened.
And I screamed a super-foul four letter word.
And I'm not proud of it.
But holy broken apple corer if it didn't make me feel a little bit better.
And then that reminded me of this hilarious little ditty that Jennifer at Studio Pebbles made a while back.
And it's just so stunningly, perfectly accurate.
And then I put on the Adele station on Pandora, hopped on here to get all the feelings I haven't yet eaten out, and I must say, an hour later, I feel better. A little...
So the plan for today?
A little pinning (if I can make it actually function) a little graphic design, some baking, finishing up some etsy projects, some advanced blogging, and I'm sure that I'll manage some laundry and toilet bowl scrubbing in there somewhere.
Here's hoping your day started better than mine, and continues on as well as I hope mine does.
P.S. The drawing for the giveaway ends Wednesday, so be sure to get your entries in.